So you’ve been convinced by all the ads we run, that you my run out of money in retirement. Glad those ads are working! Sorry if we frightened you, but that’s what we find is the best way to get your attention.
Do you have a good amount of cash available? If you do, let’s talk.
Here’s the deal: If you give us a few hundred-thousand dollars upfront. We’ll hold on to it forever, probably even after you die. But: as long as you’re alive, we’ll give a little bit of it back to you every month, and even throw in a few bucks of interest. Doesn’t sound like a good deal? You say a simple bank savings account will do that too and unlike an annuity, it will let me have any or all my money back at any point, and when I die my beneficiaries will get whatever is left in the account?
Well here’s the thing. If you live longer than actuarily predicted, we’ll keep giving you money every month, even if your own money that you put in our care runs out. Sometimes we have to pay out more than we take in, but usually not. Even when we do, lots of times we don’t get hurt much because we earned more on your money than we paid you in interest. Die earlier than actuarily predicted, and with most annuity products, we get to keep the rest of your money. Heads we win, tails you lose.
If you show any interest in an annuity product, you’ll get immediate and personalized attention from our salespeople. That’s because these products are so profitable for us that we incentivize our sales teams to push our annuity products very hard.
So come on in for a chat. Have some coffee and a donut on us. We’ll explain everything we want you to know about how annuities work. We’ll also present you with a long disclosure statement but don’t bother reading it. No one does because we make it very complex and we use very tiny print; not fun reading.
Your salesperson is trained to tell you what we want you to know, and gloss over the parts that we don’t want you to understand. Concentrate on those checks you’ll be getting every month, not the part about handing over a big chunk of your life’s savings. Bring your checkbook, but leave your calculator at home. No need to spend your time doing confusing math. Just have another donut.
There other insurance products that are great for us: